To Reconstruct or Not Reconstruct, That is the Question.

Borrowed words from Shakespeare’s Hamlet. In this opening scene of Act 3, Hamlet is contemplating death and suicide. My breasts were trying to kill me, so now they are dead  and I am very much alive.

I had not wanted to do reconstruction (a boob job if you’re lost here) right away. Some women have reconstruction during the same surgery as the double mastectomy (removal of the breasts). I felt like I wanted to heal from the surgeries and get through all the chemo and radiation  before reconstruction. Delayed reconstruction is what they call it.

I contemplated it for about 20 months. Here is what I came up with.

1. My body has been through enough.
2. I don’t want anymore down time because of a surgery ever again.
3. I can’t even eat cheese or gluten without an allergic reaction so putting something foreign in my chest doesn’t make sense to me.
4. My hubby is super awesome and doesn’t care either way. He leans more on the side of “you have been through enough.”
5. Most importantly, I talked to God about it. Of course, after months of trying to figure it out myself I finally remembered to ask my Creator. He distinctly told me “You don’t need it.” I made the decision right then that I was not going to have reconstruction at all and a huge wave of peace washed over me.

It’s not the decision for everyone. It is a very personal choice. It is the right decision for me.

There are challenges and a huge learning curve with clothing and swimsuits. I’m learning to love the bralette (The Buckle has really cute ones) and high neck flowy shirts. Swimsuits are pretty challenging but I’m getting the hang of it. Sports bras work well for bikini tops because you can find them without padding.

Running is a lot easier. I’m planning on covering my scars with feather tattoos. I will never forget what we have gone through. It has changed us in many ways forever.

The reason I want to share this is because it’s not very common. I want other women to know that it’s okay to not do reconstruction. You are still you, no matter what your bra size is. No matter what your body size is, whether you are a size 00 or 100, you are still you. Fill your mind with knowledge, fill your heart with love and empathy, fill your soul  with love for you. Find what you love to do and go for it and be an impact for this world as only you can. Uniquely created, knit together in your mother’s womb, crazy beautiful amazing you.

This song by Johnny Diaz has always inspired me to be me. Hope you enjoy this live version.

More Beautiful You

Much Love,

Tahnee