Well, I’m 40 now. I’m old because I like skinny jeans (not that I can fit into them right now, thank you) and side parts. This is how the youths are calling out old people now, FYI.
And I’m absolutely loving it. I have been blessed with a youthful soul. I am genuinely surprised when I get hurt doing a cartwheel or most recently, my shoulder got super messed up because I fell on it doing a headstand. I will always try to do all of the things. My brain will never catch up to the fact that I’m not 20 anymore.
That being said, I am thankful I am not 20 anymore. 20’s were great. I found my love Jeremy, we had our amazing daughter and we settled down in Loveland. We found Jesus and he started changing us, as we allowed Him to. You guys, Jesus is such a gentleman. He will not force anything on you, He waits till you are ready. My 20’s were also full of stupidity. I am so sorry if you only ever knew me in my 20’s. I struggled with alcohol addiction, eating disorders, mental health struggles. Ugh. 20’s Tahnee was a straight up disaster.
30’s were also a bit of a struggle. As I learned more who I was and who God created me to be, I kept pushing it aside for addiction to alcohol and self hate. More eating disorders and mental health struggles. Then the cancer happened. Thank God the cancer happened. But then the addiction, eating disorders and mental health struggles reared up again. Feelings of worthlessness were popping in and out. See the cycle here? Once I quit drinking for good in 2019, I was able to come out of the fog. I was able to dismantle so many things I believed and start to heal. To truly live as God intended. Humble, Grateful, Loving. He plopped us right back where we were in ministry when we were walking close with Him in our younger sober days.
Jesus is King and that’s what I focus on. He is above politics, sickness, death, everything. He’s got us.
Okay, so 40 things I have learned.
- Be thankful always. There is always something to be thankful for. (thank you author Ann Voskamp)
- Hurt people hurt people. It’s not personal. It’s about them, not you.
- Enjoy the simple things. Snow falling, petals on a rose, the warmth of the sun.
- Money doesn’t make you happy. Easier, yes. Happier, no.
- Speaking of money, it serves me, not the other way around. I tell it what to do.
- Work out and exercise to celebrate what your body can do, not to punish it for eating.
- Eat the cake.
- Love your people so fiercely, so much out of a heart of grateful sacrifice.
- Tell your people you love them. Speak it out.
- Be you. Some will love it and those are your people. Some won’t and that’s okay too.
- Be your own advocate. Especially when it comes to health.
- Actually, I can. Phillipians 4:13: I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.
- See the world. Travel as much as possible.
- Work really hard so you can see the world.
- The work you put in is what you will get out. Don’t expect handouts.
- Chase your dreams. No dream is too big or too small.
- Be kind to yourself.
- We must fix our own issues and hearts before we can truly help and love others.
- Be careful who you let speak into your life. If it doesn’t line up with love, it’s probably not right.
- Trust your gut.
- When you get in a deep mental rut, serve. Get out of your own head and serve others. It helps 100% of the time.
- Random acts of kindness- Do them.
- When you give, forget immediately. No reason to boast about it or keep score. Give anonymously whenever possible.
- When you receive, never forget.
- Feel your feelings. Acknowledge them, work through them.
- Toxic positivity is a thing. I am so guilty of doing this. Validate feelings, don’t stuff them. This goes for yourself and in your interactions with others. I am truly so very sorry if I ever told you things like, “It could be worse” or minimized your experience in any way.
- Time is non-refundable.
- Be teachable.
- Expect miracles, like for real Bible times miracles. He’s still doing them.
- People have free will to do as they please. Or in other words, you can’t change people. That is not our job.
- The Holy Spirit electric power is unreal, so not of this realm. I will continue seeking it with my whole heart.
- Genuine people are my favorite. Not to be mistaken for Genuwine, although Pony will always remind me of Little Sebastian. (if you get this joke, you have my heart forever)
- Get outside everyday.
- Be open to wonder and excitement.
- There are so many more interesting things about us than how we look.
- That being said, do what makes you feel good. I personally love botox, fillers and lashes because they are super fun. But I’m not going to get reconstruction for fake breasts because it is just not something I am interested in doing. I love my scars and new body. It reminds me of what God pulled me through.
- Be you. Unapologetically you. Not who others think you should be. YOU.
- You have something this world needs. You bring something to the table. Don’t hide it.
- Be a voice for the voiceless, bring power for the powerless.
- God gives and takes away. Some days are good, some are bad. He is on the other side of all of this and He knows how we will get through. Practice listening to His voice.
If you are still reading, thank you. Can’t wait to see what the next decade brings! I’m sure joy and tears. Life and living. I can only hope that when I go back and look at this when I’m 50, I can smile and think “Oh, younger Tahnee, the things I wish I could tell you now.”
Love,
Tahnee XOXO
The Squad threw me a surprise 80s dance party because they are the most fun people ever. Docu-Meg is filming. Enjoy us never growing up together. Liv thought we were crazy because she had never seen the movie Bridesmaids, which is where we got this amazing choreography from.