Our 13 year old daughter Liv scared the crap out of us this week. She freaked us out. Once we figured out she wasn’t in danger, we were hugging her. She said, “You guys seem so mad.” I said, “We’re not mad, we are scared.”
It’s interesting how anger and fear can look the same, isn’t it? Have you ever been driving and someone swerves into your lane? You get mad because it scares you.
I grew up in this generation where you don’t name your feelings. You push them away. Being mad is wrong and crying is bad. I am very lucky to have a daughter who reminds me to allow her to feel her feelings. It’s much harder to deal with feelings than pretending they don’t exist.
With the terrible things being brought to light with the murder of yet another black person by a police officer, I see a lot of fear. Fear on all sides. Fear and Anger. Anger and Fear.
Can I ask you to look at yourself and name what you are feeling?
Be willing to feel. Be willing to learn. Humans who are unteachable, non-feeling and unwilling to learn can be most dangerous.
Not one of us is perfect. Think of the worst thing you have ever done. Think of the worst thing you ever said. It makes us a bit uncomfortable, doesn’t it? We must be uncomfortable to allow us to grow. That embarrassment and pain is where true character growth comes from.
If you find yourself looking down on someone, anyone marginalized, especially black people who desperately need our help right now, take a step back. Take a look in the mirror. You might need to sit in your uncomfortableness until you get your soul right and realize that we are all God’s children and should be treated with the same respect you would give yourself.
I remember one time I was staying at my Nana and Papa’s house in Rocky Ford, Colorado. I am the oldest of the grandchildren, and my Papa asked me to run a bath for the little ones. I was probably about 10 years old. He said, “Run the bath as you would for yourself.” Those words still stick with me today.
How you treat people says everything I need to know about you.
Let’s root for each other and lift each other up. Especially the people who need it most, the odds stacked against them from the moment they are born, simply for their skin color being beautifully dark.
Love,
Tahnee XOXO
Thank you, Tahnee. What a beautiful way to look at things – through the eyes of our teachers who are so often our family. Poignant story sharing opportunities for reflection and growth in very few words. Keep writing…… xoxo:)